In loving memory of Aaron Davis…
Every word that you’re about to read is taken from my father’s journal. Throughout his life, he documented his thoughts and feelings, with the hopes that people would see him as a human and not define him by his profession. Though I never got the opportunity to meet my father, nor did he get the opportunity to know about me, this autobiography is a way to keep him alive in my heart.
Andrew Davis (2020)
Editor’s Note.....
Chapter 1: The Calm before the Storm.....
Chapter 2: The Storm.....
Chapter 3: A New Me.....
Chapter 4: Vulnerabilities.....
“Life works in such mysterious ways. You could spend years looking for happiness, but when you least expect it, it comes knocking on your doorstep”
I was born in Burlington, Vermont in 1966 and was named Aaron Davis. I had a very happy childhood. I wasn’t blessed with luxury, but I always valued my family more. I had a mother, a father and an older brother who loved me unconditionally, and I them. What more could a kid ask for? Life was great, that is until it stopped being so.
On March 26th 1981, at the age of 15, I lost my dear parents to a horrific car accident. Unfortunately, they collided head on with a truck that was driven by a drunk man. My older brother, Carter Davis, was 17 at the time and we moved in with the only relative we had, our mother’s younger sister, Susan Jacobs. To this date, I am grateful to Aunty Susan for giving us a roof over our heads but she often favored her kids over us.
To me, it seemed like she was going over and beyond to show us we weren’t part of their family. It wasn’t soon after we moved in with our aunt, that Carter left to join the police force. Growing up, he showed a lot of interest in this field. Carter was away for an entire year training at an academy leaving me behind. Obviously, I wasn’t very fond of the idea, but after a while I settled in and decided it was selfish of me to not give my brother a chance to live his dream. He did call me often to check up on me, so I didn’t feel as lonely when he was away.
A year later, at the age of 19, Carter Davis graduated at the top of his class. On this day, Carter invited me to live with him. I was ecstatic! Not long after we moved in, Carter introduced his girlfriend to me, Felicia Peters, who also moved in with us. For a few years we all a very happy family.
A few years later Carter and Felicia tied the knot. Shortly after which, I had to move out to attend college. I enrolled at the University of Washington to get my bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Carter and Felicia were kind enough to afford a good education for me. They wanted me to make a life for myself, they wanted to see me grow and achieve big things in life. And I only wanted to make them proud. But, every time I am ecstatic, life makes me realize that I’m not made to be happy for too long. On February 19th 1987, at the age of 21, I was left abandoned.
I had just woken up for classes when I received a phone call from Derek, Carter’s friend who worked with him. In a rush to head out, I quickly answered the phone as I ran out of my room. “Hey Derek” I said, panting. “Aaron, I need to talk to you” Derek said in a very concerned toned. “It’s about Carter”. My heart sank, for I didn’t know how to prepare myself for the next few words I was about to hear from Derek.
“Derek! Is Carter alright!?” I yelled at my phone. “Aaron” he said softly. “There is no easy to way to say this, but, Carter and Felicia were shot dead”. I froze. I felt as if the entire world was closing up on me. Tears ran down my cheeks and I fell to the floor. I curled up against the door of my room and buried my face in my arms while I wept uncontrollably.
Why was it always me? Was I not destined to be happy? Derek’s faint voice on the other end of the phone made me realized that I hadn’t replied back to him. Sobbing, I picked up the phone. Derek heard my sobs, and he instructed me to stay in my room and that he was already on his way to pick me up.
When Derek finally showed up, I ran over to his car, put my belongings in and drove off. I had no intention of coming back to university. I didn’t feel like I had a purpose to continue anymore. I lost my family for the second time! And if they weren’t going to be around to see me, I didn’t particularly feel like I had any purpose in life.
The car ride with Derek was awfully quite. He tried to start up a conversation several times but I just wanted to wallow in my sorrow and didn’t reply. “Derek”, I said, almost whispering. “What really happened to Carter and Felicia?” “I don’t think you’re in the best position to talk about it” He replied. “Let’s continue this later”. “Tell me Derek!!” I yelled. “This is my brother and his wife! They were all I had! I have the right to know!”
Derek sighed, he gaze shifted towards me for a split second from the road. “Look Aaron” he said sighing. “In our field of line, we deal with a lot of bad guys. And sometimes they make drastic decisions. Your brother was a brilliant cop. And that’s exactly what got him killed. We’ve been trying really hard to track down this criminal named Casino Rob.
He was a low time criminal, but somehow he put up a casino and made it the hotspot for many criminal activities. There were also many young girls who were victims to his trafficking activities. Carter was an amazing man, as much as he was an amazing cop. But unfortunately, Rob was one step ahead him. I guess Rob needed to get rid of Carter to carry on his criminal activities, and that’s why he did what he did. I’m really sorry about your brother Aaron. I know you lost your brother, but I also lost my best friend.” He was right! I never really thought how he was coping.
The next few days passed by in a haze. Derek had arranged a memorial for Carter and we buried both bodies beside each other. As they lowered their coffins, I yelled out in pain. I couldn’t bear the loneliness. The thought of having to go on without them was unbearable. Derek tried very hard to hide his emotions, but he soon gave up and joined me next to their graves.
After the service I headed back home. The apartment felt empty and lonely without their voices. I went into their room and they seem to be preparing for the baby’s arrival. Carter was always the lazy one to do chores. He hadn’t even picked up his uniform after he undressed. I didn’t want to alter anything in his room. I wanted to keep everything the way it is for as long as I could. I went over to my room and stared out the window and thought hard about how soon my day changed.
The more I thought about it, the more range that filled in me. I wanted Rob to pay for what he took away from me. I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I didn’t want to be the victim anymore. I wanted to fight back.
I was never the person to plan vengeance. I always accepted my fate and never question it. But the loss of Carter and Felicia seem to stir something in me that I didn’t think I had. I knew I needed practice and I knew exactly where to start.
Seven years had passed and I got ready for yet another mission. By now, my solitude had taken over my life but the need to avenge Carter’s and Felicia’s death never died in me. Within the past years, I built up a persona, a visage that hid my vulnerabilities, and showed an exterior that was tough. I became a hitman that worked on my own terms.
I trained hard from a kid who couldn’t even hold a gun to a man that could fight with my bear hands. I wasn’t proud of what I had become, but I embraced the new me. In the line of work I was now in, I didn’t have room for emotions. I was a killer. A senseless, brutal killer. Nevertheless, I stood by my morals strongly; I wouldn’t hurt or kill innocent children or women.
This particular mission I was preparing for was quite challenging. I had to deal with several people within the same arena. Of course I went ahead and performed my deed relentlessly, but I was also heavily wounded in the process. I walked out of the arena, lit it on fire and got as far as I could on my feet until I found myself at a gas station. At this point, I was still able to stand still, but the pain in my stomach due to the bullet was aching rapidly.
I noticed at the gas station was a lady, dressed in a scrubs filling up her car. I picked myself up and walked to the car and got into the back seat. As she got in, I pointed the gun to her head and whispered “If you scream, I’ll blow your head off. Just drive”. Without uttering a single word, she panics and drives the car.
While she drove she notices my injury. “I’m a doctor you know” she said. “I can help you out with that”. “Shut up and just drive” I yelled. I just wanted her to get me close enough to my cottage at the end of the woods. I could knock her out and make a run for it. I’d be safe there and I’ll be able to nurse myself. I didn’t need a women raising questions. She could get me caught.
After silently driving for a few miles, she offers to nurse my wound again. Of course my arrogance takes over and I yell back at her. This time she didn’t stand down and she yelled back at me. “If you don’t let me nurse it, you’ll bleed to death.” she said. “Look, right now, you need me more, to be honest, I could do very well without you.
You’re just ruining my day”. Oh god! Besides aching from a bullet wound, I’ve got to deal with a nagging women as well. Great job Aaron. You couldn’t have picked up an old lady instead. Annoyed at her truth, I ordered the lady to stop and let her dress my wound. As soon as she was done, I pointed the gun back at her and asked her to continue driving.
Once we got to a much more secluded area on the highway, I asked her to stop the car and turn off the engine. I hit her on her head and she fell unconscious. I wondered if she might go to the cops if I left her stranded there. So I decided to take her with me and keep her hostage for a few days until I figured out my next step. I got off the vehicle, carried her to the trunk of the car, put her in and locked it. I drove the car with the lady in the trunk, to my cottage at the corner of the woods.
Once I reached there, I carried her out of the vehicle, placed her on the bed, locked all the doors and windows and slept in the sofa next to her.
Have you ever done something that you thought was a great idea that moment but the very next morning regret it? Well, that was me! As I woke up, the next day, the nagging only seemed to get worse. If it weren’t for my morals, I would have put a bullet in her head without thinking twice. She was an absolute nightmare! She had so many questions to ask, and so many things to talk about. Honestly, I felt like I was the hostage being tortured.
I never initially had the intention of keeping her in the cottage for that long. But days and days passed and at a certain point I had begun to enjoy her company even if she was chattering nonstop. It took me a while to realize that she was actually quite attractive. Regardless of how many times I threatened her that I’d put a bullet in her for asking so many questions, she didn’t seem to care.
She even leaned in and challenged me to shoot her. She was absolutely crazy. But during the time we spent stuck in that cottage, we seemed to have grown closer. Since the death of Carter and Felicia, I didn’t really have anyone to talk with.
For some reason I found it so much easier to communicate with her. I didn’t know what I was feeling at the time, but whatever it is, it felt amazing. I shared a lot of things about me with her, and she did the same. Her story was miraculous. She was an orphan named Amelia, who never got adopted. But she had the opportunity to get a good education and that’s how she ended up as a doctor.
There was something about her that made it so easy for me to talk to her. I even confessed to her about my line of work. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t seem to bother her as much as I thought it might.
Soon the day arrived where we had to go our separate ways. But she decided to stick by me. She accepted me for who I am and she never judged me for what I did. And I hadn’t felt that safe with anyone since Carter.
Just as great as our love story sounds, I knew things were only going to get worse from this point on worse. I was blessed with a beautiful women who I was madly in love with, and I knew she was too. But that only made me a bigger target. I have much more to lose now, I am more vulnerable now. I was only worried this would get her killed someday.
Falling in love with Amelia changed me. I told her every detail about my life, about my parents, about Carter and Felicia, about Casino Rob. I thought I did a great job at displaying myself as a tough “bad guy” but Amelia seemed to bring out a soft side in me that I’ve forgotten I had.
I didn’t want to let Amelia off my sight, I was so afraid my life work would collide with my personal life. For the first time in my life, I felt like I valued someone else’s life over mine.
On September 14th 1996, two years after I met Amelia, I got the opportunity to go on the most anticipated mission of my life. A client reached out to me and placed a very large bet for the death of his rival Casino Rob. I had been tracking every move of his for years but every time I got close to him, he would vanish.
And now it was finally my opportunity to avenge my brother’s death. I didn’t even take the money. “Consider the job done as a favor” I said. I walked out with Casino Robs location and headed to prepare for the mission. But, I came home to a mess. I called out for Amelia but there was no answer. The apartment looked like there had been a fight in it. I quickly noticed there was a small note on the refrigerator that said “If you want her back, come unarmed to the arena behind Rob’s casino”.
I had no plan. I panicked and ran out the door. I couldn’t think straight. All I could think about was how Amelia was and how scared she might be. I arrived at the arena and walked in with my hands up in the air showing I wasn’t armed. Rob stood there next to Amelia. She was tied to a chair. She screamed as she saw me. “Well. Well. So this is the guy who was paid to shoot me down?” he said with a slight chuckle. “What’s your name boy?” “Let her go!” I demanded. “Answer my question!” he yelled furiously. “Aaron Davis” I said. “Davis? Like Carter Davis, the cop?” he laughed manically. “Did you know I killed him and his wife? You must be the little brother I didn’t know excited” Shut up!” I screamed back. “I don’t think it’s highly appropriate for you to scream at me when I’ve got your lover guy tide up here” he replied.
I calmed myself and with a lower tone I said “Please let her go. It’s me you want, not her” “Fine then” he agreed as he untied Amelia. She ran towards me. I held her in my arms and I whispered into her ear. “Run”. I pushed Amelia out of the way, pulled out a gun from my shoe and fired at Rob. Just as I watched Rob fall to the ground, I felt an agonizing pain in my chest. I looked down and noticed the blood dripping. I had been shot. I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t warn Amelia. I just laid there, in my pool of blood as I felt my vision blur out and as I closed my eyes for the last time, all I could think of was the satisfaction of avenging my brother’s death.
